How to Build Self-Confidence? 3 Easy Ways.
Confidence is a state of being clear-headed either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Confidence comes from the Latin word ‘fidere’ which means “to trust”; therefore, having self-confidence is having trust in one’s self. Arrogance or hubris, in comparison, is the state of having unmerited confidence—believing something or someone is correct or capable when evidence or reasons for this belief are lacking. Overconfidence or presumptuousness is excessive belief in someone (or something) succeeding, without any regard for failure. Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.
Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you become more successful in your personal and professional life. Research has found, for example, that people who are more confident tend to achieve more academically. Confidence can also play a role in the motivation to pursue your goals, with studies linking higher levels of self-confidence in athletes with increased motivation to practice their sport of choice.3 Your level of confidence even affects how you present yourself to others.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Do you compare how you look to people you follow on Instagram? Or maybe you compare your salary to what your friend earns. Social comparison theory explains that making comparisons is natural. But it isn’t likely to help boost your self-confidence. It may even have the opposite effect. A 2018 study published in Personality and Individual Differences found a direct link between envy and the way you feel about yourself. Specifically, researchers noted that when people compared themselves to others, they experienced envy. The more envy they had, the worse they felt about themselves.
Your negative thoughts might sound like this: “I can’t do that,” “I will surely fail”, “no one wants to hear what I have to say.” This inner voice is pessimistic and unhelpful and will hold you back from achieving high self-esteem and greater self-confidence. As you pay attention to your negative thoughts, turn them around to positive thoughts. This may take the form of positive affirmations, such as “I am going to try it,” “I can be successful if I work at it,” or “people will listen to me.” Start with just a few positive thoughts a day. Take a moment and think about how your friends make you feel. Do they lift you up, or do they bring you down? Are they constantly judging you, or do they accept you for who you are? The people you spend time with can influence your thoughts and attitudes about yourself, perhaps more than you realize. So, pay attention to how others make you feel. If you feel bad about yourself after hanging out with a particular person, it may be time to say goodbye.
Instead, surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you. Seek out others who are positive and can help build your confidence. Self-confidence and a positive attitude go hand-in-hand.
Face The Challenges
Spend some time thinking about what you want to do and where you want to be in the future then set yourself some short-term and long-term career goals. These short-term goals could be focused on learning a new skill, taking on a new responsibility in your job, or increasing your productivity by a certain amount. Long-term goals could include working towards a promotion or securing your dream job. You can then work on some small steps or targets that help you work towards these goals. This will give you some motivation to push yourself and will help you to see what you can achieve, which will also boost your confidence. If you know what your long-term goals are it can make it easier to overcome challenges along the way.
Practice facing some of your fears that stem from a lack of self-confidence. If you’re afraid you’ll embarrass yourself or think that you’re going to mess up, try anyway. A little self-doubt can even help improve performance. Tell yourself it’s just an experiment and see what happens. You might learn that being a little anxious or making a few mistakes isn’t as bad as you thought. And each time you move forward, you gain more confidence in yourself. In the end, this can help prevent you from taking risks that will result in major negative consequences.
“The more you like yourself, the more confidence you have,” consultant and speaker Brian Tracy writes. “The more you like yourself, and believe in yourself, the more efficient and effective you are in each area of your life.”
“The fixed mindset arises from the belief that the qualities that you have…are an innate part of you, rather than something that has been learned and cultivated over time,” mindset coach Jane Pike writes. “So instead of reaching, expanding, learning, we spend our time describing, documenting and defending. And what’s more, we most certainly don’t put ourselves in positions where we could potentially be challenged or come unglued.”
Take a look at the impact of your emotions
Low self-confidence might stem from different experiences, such as growing up in an unsupportive and critical environment, being separated from your friends or family for the first time, judging yourself too harshly, or being afraid of failure. People with low self-confidence often have errors in their thinking. Sometimes the quick fixes don’t help in the long term. If you’re feeling bad and things just don’t seem to be improving, it’s worth talking to someone who knows how to help. Professionals such as counsellors and psychologists can help you develop strategies to help you build up your confidence. They may also be able to help you understand any underlying problems that might be causing you to feel bad about yourself.
Negative self-talk can limit your abilities and lessen your confidence by convincing your subconscious that you “can’t handle” something or that it is “too hard” and you “shouldn’t even try.”10 Self-talk that is optimistic, on the other hand, can help foster self-compassion, overcome self-doubt, and take on new challenges.
Here are eleven ways to help build self-confidence:
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Celebrate and reflect on your wins
- Embrace your failures and view them as learning opportunities
- Step out of your comfort zone
- Treat yourself with respect
- Have positive self-talk sessions
- Track your progress
- Pursue passions that make you happy
- Allow yourself to be curious
- Think about your big goals
- Stand up for yourself
You should also celebrate your smallest victories however you’d like. If a big bowl of ice cream will do that for you, go for it. As you track your progress, make sure to think back to where you started. Think about how that version of you would be proud of where you are today.
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